Parenting, Part II: The Notebook
When/if we have kids, I will keep a small notebook on me at all times. Whenever our child complains that something is unfair, or that they are displeased with how a situation has progressed, I will pull out the notebook and write it down. I imagine something like this will unfold:
At two years:
“No no no no no!”
“[Baby awesome*] does not want to put on pants. Noted.” And I will proceed to write something in the notebook.
At three years:
“I don’t want carrots!”
“[Baby awesome] does not want carrots. Noted.”
“What are you doing?”
“Making a note of your complaint.”
“Oh.” I assume this will baffle our child all of once.
At some point, the notebook will cease to confound them. Instead, they will either ignore it, or insist on seeing it. At this point, [baby awesome] will still not be able to read. I will happily show them the notebook. They may attempt to write in it themselves, or destroy it. I will allow them to do neither.
I will let this progress for as long as it is amusing and as long as the kid puts up with it. Eventually, the kid will get old enough to sense taunting, at which point the notebook will be put away for a few years.
Eventually, the kid will find it and read it. And they will realize… they have been trolled so hard.
*placeholder name
2 Comments »
AHHHH! Congratulations!!!
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As someone who is currently pregnant, you have no idea how tempting it is for me to steal this idea.