Jun

Parasitic Rainbows and Other Workday Fun

clownmagickarenrainbow

Me: I actually have been developing a hypothesis about horrible web graphics. My suspicion is that the vast majority of these people are former web designers who were really great at web design. and then they snapped. Because at a certain point, I just want to believe that a rainbow lives inside my heart, like some sort of jovial parasite.
Co-worker: ever see Let’s Exercise, Paint, and Blend Drinks?
Me: no.But I”m convinced from that brief description that i absolutely must.
Co-worker: in that guy’s heart lives a rainbow, a jovial parasitical rainbow, poor guy
Me: does it sometimes hug him too hard and cause brain damage? I think that’s what mine does.

Me: it takes so much self control not to climb under my desk and start making horrible screaming noises. i avoid it mostly because i can’t imagine how awkward that encounter with facilities would be.

“we thought there was an animal trapped in here.”

“no, it’s just an IT person. ugh. not again.”

Me: i think i’m just going to start carrying a baseball bat with me. just a subtle threat of violence to keep everyone in check. It’s that or an internet goon squad.
Co-worker: i vote you carry a bat
Me: me too. internet goon squads are tough to control. and they smell funny.

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I'm a professional web designer in Philadelphia, PA. I live with my totally excellent manfriend in a beautiful apartment. I love to cook, discuss web design, and analyze marketing, amongst other things. Want to know more?

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Book Progress: ?

36%	27,959 magic words Chapter VII: Worlds Colliding

Book Progress

You're writing a book? For real?
Yes. It's a crazy undertaking, but no one else is going to write it, which certainly puts a somewhat flattering amount of pressure on me to commit the words to page.

What is the percentage based off of?
A completely arbitrary number: 76,944, which is also the number of words in J.K. Rowling's first book.

Why does the wordcount/percentage fluxuate?
I do a LOT of rewriting. Recently, I began writing the book from scratch, with strong notes, taking a lot of the work I'd already done verbatim, or using it as an outline to flesh out from. Consequently, the word count is not entirely accurate as a full account of everything written, but a literal inventory of the number of words in current chapters of the current incarnation of the book.

That's insane. How the hell do you manage to do that much work?
I literally think about this project all the time. I have to consciously stop thinking about it and literally deprive myself of paper and computers for designated periods of time (like my friend's wedding, as a perfect for instance) in order to shut off, but the rest of the time it's nearly impossible. When I'm too burnt out to think about the books anymore, I zone out by looking at real estate and IKEA furniture. No, I am totally not joking. Did you know that Minneapolis is enjoying a fusion of industrial chic mixed with upscale country living as an interior decorating trend? It's bizarre.

Do you have a deadline set?
Yes and no. I try to get a certain amount of writing done per week, but requiring a set word count or a hard date would be unfair at this point, simply because it's not about that. For me, it's about the process, enjoying writing the story as it comes. That being said, my goal is to have the book complete in its first draft form by the end of the year.

Will you try to get it published?
Probably. Right now, it's enough simply to be writing a book, but if I do complete it which looks pretty likely at this point, it would be silly not to try and get it published.

What's the book about?
Adventure, magic, time travel, love, friendship, loneliness, piracy, witches, and which dragons have the worst breath, regionally.

Why do you keep blogging about your book?
Mostly because it's what's on my mind right now. It's hard not to talk about it, or writing, or other stories I've been interested in, be they great television shows or books I've read. There are so many wonderfully talented writers (both of screen and page) that I admire and think about when creating my own characters and stories.

What will you do if you don't get published?
Keep trying, probably, but I'm not that concerned about it at this point.

What will you do if you do get published and make it really, really big?
Hey, anything's possible. While a part of me has always been wary of celebrity, I'm sure that if I make it really, really big I'll figure something out. My bucket list of things to do if I win the lottery, or make a fortune somehow is pretty much the same as the one if I didn't. I want a nice place to live, I want to redecorate our bedroom, and I'd like to get a dog. It would be nice to have some extra cash to pay off loans a little faster, and maybe travel a bit.

Curious to know more about my writing? Read my interview on whohub.