Highlander had the right idea
I’ve been on a highlander kick recently. If you aren’t familiar with highlander, it’s a show/movie/story about immortals who live forever unless their heads are cut off. When an immortal cuts of the head of another immortal, he or she gains their power and knowledge. Eventually, only one immortal will be left. In any event, throughout the series, there’s a lot of vengeance killings – “he killed my wife in the 16th century! i must destroy him! there can be only one!”
I began to wonder. If I died, would the boyfriend avenge my death?
“Well, it would depend. Probably not, if you died of heart disease or something. Then you only really have yourself to blame, and you’re already dead, so my job’s sort of done, isn’t it?”
“No, I mean, if someone killed me. Would you avenge my death?”
“Sure. I’m always looking for a good excuse to kill.”
“Cool.”
As the evening went on, and I engaged in my favorite activity of annoying the ever living shit out of my boyfriend (namely by randomly springing up and attacking him gently), he threatened to kill me and paused, thoughtfully.
“I think murder suicides are just misunderstandings. If I kill you, and then kill myself to avenge your death, that’s a murder suicide.”
“I don’t know that they’re really misunderstood. I think that kind of sums it up.”
“Are you going to put this in your blog?”
“Absolutely.”
“Good, there needs to be a record of my brilliance for posterity.”
You heard it here first, future children. Your father is completely batshit insane.
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