Hands-on Clowning

In the course of looking at Clown Magic NYC, (the source of rainbow lady below), I discovered this posting, advertising Bingo’s services.
Me: What does “Human Hands-On Clowning” consist of?
Person: as opposed to distant animal seriousness, which is kind of a buzzkill for parties.
Me: I am really distressed at human hands-on clowning, and manfriend is trying to reassure me, saying it’s “industry speak” and something about “carny jargon,” but it sounds like child molestation
Person: yes. it does.
Me: BALLOOON RAPE
Person: he was charged with eight counts of aggrevated hands-on clowning
Me: that’s what the 1/2 balloon is
Person: I just don’t understand how like you need to specify hands-on and human and old fashion. Old fashioned hands-on human clowning?
Me: is it supposed to actually be human cloning? the old fashioned way? Like with genitals? There are no good implications here.
Person: I agree. It’s sort of like a restaurant saying, “we serve cooked food that you can eat” … as opposed to what?!
Me: hands-on human clowning, as opposed to the reserved, serious judgment of robots. Or cats.
I love how emphatically underscored not doing magic is. Like, if you suggest magic or even say something about magic within earshot of Bingo, he will lose his shit. I kind of love the mental imagery of something being really serious and a clown getting pissed off about something. Especially magic.
“FUCK MAGIC. Bingo doesn’t DO magic FUCK YOU GUYS. WHAT ARE YOU STARING AT! THIS ISN’T FUNNY! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING! DO I FUCKING AMUSE YOU!? LIKE SOME KIND OF COMEDIAN? EAT SOME DICKS, KYO!”
2 Comments »
Damn it, CT
Comment by Kyo — June 9, 2009 @ 9:00 am
Here you go–confirms your darkest fears: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102898/
Comment by Your Mom — June 11, 2009 @ 1:45 pm
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