I looked at him and replied, “That’s a bold statement.”

Later that day, some other coworkers were discussing unusual HTML tags, and told me a story about how they’d seen a document that had <smoke></smoke> tags scattered throughout. Belatedly, I asked, “Did you find the <fire> tag?”

Above, Ellen tries out the Whirly Chair.

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Me: I actually have been developing a hypothesis about horrible web graphics. My suspicion is that the vast majority of these people are former web designers who were really great at web design. and then they snapped. Because at a certain point, I just want to believe that a rainbow lives inside my heart, like some sort of jovial parasite.
Co-worker: ever see Let’s Exercise, Paint, and Blend Drinks?
Me: no.But I”m convinced from that brief description that i absolutely must.
Co-worker: in that guy’s heart lives a rainbow, a jovial parasitical rainbow, poor guy
Me: does it sometimes hug him too hard and cause brain damage? I think that’s what mine does.

Me: it takes so much self control not to climb under my desk and start making horrible screaming noises. i avoid it mostly because i can’t imagine how awkward that encounter with facilities would be.

“we thought there was an animal trapped in here.”

“no, it’s just an IT person. ugh. not again.”

Me: i think i’m just going to start carrying a baseball bat with me. just a subtle threat of violence to keep everyone in check. It’s that or an internet goon squad.
Co-worker: i vote you carry a bat
Me: me too. internet goon squads are tough to control. and they smell funny.