tony: have you watched Chuck at all?
alex: no
tony: it’s pretty amusing, the guy from firefly is hilarious in his role, and the girl is hooOOOt, which doesnt hurt at all
alex: it’s chuck himself i can’t stand
tony: haha, what dont you like about him
alex: everything.
tony: so you have watched it then
alex: seen it, not watched. difference. i’ve seen the previews and caught the end while waiting for the next show. there seemed to be a tremendous amount of whining and angst and stupid dude with his stupid hair and stupid face doing most of it.
tony: hm, havent really noticed that
alex: and somehow hot chick is all about it and like, conflicted and shit. how is that a conflict? you’re a secret agent right? shoot the bitch. and by bitch, i refer to chuck. just kill his stupid whiny ass. PROBLEMS SOLVED. keep reading »

So, whilst we were out to eat, we concocted a new hit blog idea that involves me writing about the things that I hate. Manfriend did an exemplary job of coming up with suggestions of things for me to hate. His initial idea was Mike “The Situation” and his new t-shirt idea, a shirt with a window that displays abs.

My response was not hateful, so much as impressed. Only someone like The Situation could make a shirt like that successful. At the same time, a fly happened to be buzzing around us, and I grew irritated with it, claiming that a fly’s sole biological function is to be repugnant. Manfriend suggested that this too would make a great blog post in my hate blog. We decided we should record our conversations, and rehashed the ideas. So, without further ado, our lunchtime conversation about Mike “The Situation” and flies:

Do you think a blog devoted to rants and raves written by me would be a good use of our time, or should we pass on this one? More importantly, would you read it?

Also, how many times do I say “situation” in that recording?

Should we just make recordings of our stupid conversations? Manfriend is convinced that I am “very popular on the internet,” but I am not as convinced. I don’t think people find us as funny as we find ourselves.

UPDATE:
The verdict so far is that we should do a lunch podcast instead of a written blog. I like this idea, and suggested that the blog be a) a container for the podcast itself and b) provide supplementary information, such as bulleted lists, visuals, pie charts, cat pictures, animated gifs, and glitter unicorns. I call it “blogcast.”

There are few things I consider myself good at, but resume writing is one of them. I worked at the career center of my university and took a shitload of prep courses. What I’ve learned about what’s conventionally taught versus what works is useful. This post isn’t going to be your run of the mill resume advice. Instead, because I’ve had to read through a ton of resumes recently, I’m going to address some of the more common issues I’ve seen. I’m serious, I’ve read through hundreds of these fucking things.

What doesn’t work:

1. When addressing your cover letter, don’t write “Dear Sirs:” Women also read cover letters, you dingbat.

2. If your resume is over two pages long, I’m skipping you on basic principle and out of self-preservation. If you’re that verbose on paper, you’ll probably kill us all in your interview. I don’t give nearly as much of a fuck about your life history as you think I do. keep reading »

The Parents Television Council is apparently accusing MTV of making kiddy porn. Why? Because they’ve cast underage actors in a television show that deals with sex and drug abuse.

After screening one of the episodes of the new American drama Skins, (based of off the award winning E4 show of the same name), PTC President Tim Winter had these painfully idiotic things to say:

“The episode included all manner of foul language, illegal drug use, illegal activity as well as thoroughly pervasive sexual content.”

He’s pissed off about this, and he’s not going to take it. Winter has sent a letter to the U.S. Senate and House Judiciary chairmen as well as the Department of Justice, because apparently, the fact that he didn’t like a TV show is serious business. I had no idea that his opinion was a matter of national importance. What a puffed up little twat. But it gets better! keep reading »

I actually remember when Hewlett-Packard had some decent products. My dad used to have an old inkjet printer that would churn out pages – I think it printed somewhere around 250 pages per cartridge. It was black and white, and by the time it was on its last legs, I had to hand feed it paper, but it was a true workhorse.
These days, HP seems to hold its customers in the same regard one might hold a cockroach they’ve just discovered crawling through their silverware drawer. That is to say, with surprise, horror and disdain. Here’s why: keep reading »