In the following interview with God, I ask him some questions that have been puzzling me as we draw ever closer to Rapture Day. Hopefully these will put your minds at ease in the coming days.

A: I know most people refer to Rapture Day as ‘the Rapture,’ ‘Judgement Day,’ ‘the end times,’ ‘armageddon,’ and a lot of other negative terms. This is odd, since it seems like most people who believe in Rapture Day believe that they will be among the ones who get raptured. What’s your take on this?

G: I like “Rapture Day,” it makes it sound like an American holiday. Which it kind of is. I see your point about the negativity surrounding the rapture. I suppose it has to do with people believing that the Rapture will herald the end of the world.

A: That seems a little arrogant, though. I mean, just because a bunch of religious people get hoovered up into heaven, that doesn’t mean the world can’t function without them.

G: Did you just say ‘hoovered up into heaven’? keep reading »