Bitchin’
There’s one thing that everyone loves to do, and it seems like one of humanities greatest triumphs is the shit talk bitch fest. We adore a good retort, a burn, a diss. The art of the insult is one that infiltrates all art. We have one universal phrase that we love to insert into everything we do; whether it’s Britney’s If U Seek Amy, or Lily Allen’s lamentations over the lack thereof, we just seem to relish telling people to get fucked.
Before I get a load of comments asking about some classic kiss off songs, or some of the epic rap songs, I want to highlight these simply because they tend to be that much more satisfying when they come from people who started off as a different kind of artist, or slipped their songs onto the radio, despite the blatantly unfriendly message.
Here’s my list of the best fuck you songs of recent years:
10. Kanye West – Gold Digger
This song is great for so many reasons; it calls out gold digging women on what they’re doing, and underscores the injustice of being used only for your money, while at the same time understanding the motives of the women who do it and commiserating with them at the end, saying:
“He gon’ make it to a Benz out of that Datsun / He got that ambition, baby look in his eyes / This week he’s moppin’ floors, next week it’s the fries / So, stick by his side / I know these dude’s ballin, and yeah that’s nice / And they gon’ keep callin’ and tryin’ / But you stay right, girl / But when you get on, he leave yo’ ass for a white girl”
Everyone gets screwed in this epically catchy song. If you haven’t seen the video, watch it now.
09. Britney Spears – If U Seek Amy
Yeah yeah, she started off so innocent. Watching Hit Me Baby One More Time and Oops, I did it Again, I’m struck at how tame and slow paced those songs are. Britney’s such a kid in those videos, and as sexy as she may have been at the time, she wasn’t really sexy at all. With videos like Womanizer, she’s thrillingly aware of her sexual power. In If U Seek Amy, she demonstrates how brutally aware she is of how she’s perceived and the weird disconnect between her role as a perfect celebrity mom and a sex object. The bottom line is that love her or hate her, you want to fuck her.
“Love me hate me / But can’t you see what I see / All of the boys and all of the girls are beggin’ to, if U seek Amy”
08. Timbaland – Give it to me
This song is a triple cream kiss off. With Timbaland, Nelly Furtado and Justin Timberlake coming together on a song that amounts to a giant fuck you to a number of different people. It’s tough to choose the best quote from this song, so I’ll choose three:
“We missed you on the charts last week… oh that’s right, you wasn’t there.”
“I get half a mil for my beats. You get half a grand.”
“Seen you tryna switch it up but girl you ain’t that dope / I’m a Wonder Woman, let me go get my rope”
07. Britney – Piece of Me
Not just a fuck you to all the people who are out to profit off of her, this song is far less a criticism of the paparazzi who follow her around like a second skin, but of the people who make it such a lucrative business. “You want a piece of me,” is at once a threat and also a literal question: do you really want a piece of me? You really want to see my ass? Do you understand how pathetic and weird that is?
“Don’t matter if I step on the scene or sneak away to the Philippines / They still gon’ put pictures of my derrière in the magazine”
06. Lily Allen – It’s not fair
I adore this song because Lily Allen has the balls to actually come out and say that women like good sex, and when it’s not good, it doesn’t matter how “right” the rest of the relationship is. It’s a fairly brutal assault on the “nice guy,” who can’t be bothered to give her an orgasm, but calls fifteen times a day. Wrap it in a charmingly vintage country western beat, and Lily’s song is hard not to love. People may wonder why this song’s on here but Smile isn’t. It’s because this song is so dispassionately cruel, whereas Smile was practically bleeding with emotion. It’s a brilliant revenge song, but not quite right for a list of top fuck you songs.
“Oh I lie here in the wet patch / In the middle of the bed / I’m feeling pretty damn hard done by / I spent ages giving head,”
05. Katy Perry – Ur so Gay
Echoing the equally vicious Carly Simon song, the infamous You’re so vain, Ur so Gay adds a few new zingers that make it worth a listen. Between wishing nothing but the best auto-erotic asphyxiation by H&M scarf with Mozart as the masturbatory material, Katy Perry does a fantastic job of slicing through the pretentious affectations of our generation – affectations that are certainly not unique to us. Way to call ‘em out on their bullshit, Katy.
“Secretly you’re so amused / That nobody understands you”
04. Amanda Palmer – Runs in the Family
I don’t want to say too much about this song, so I’ll just post some of the lyrics. You should listen to it.
“I say it runs in the family this family that carries me to such great lengths, to open my legs up to anyone who’ll have me / It runs in the family I come by it honestly do what you want ’cause who knows it might fill me up.”
Think I left something out? Let me know in comments.
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Hey Alex! Love the list. I’ve got a few new songs to check out, thanks! But where are songs 3, 2, and 1 ?