Given the topic of this post, it should go without saying that my male readers will probably find this slightly more boring than watching paint dry. You’ve been warned.

I recently discovered this amazing top coat that suddenly makes wearing nail polish far more fun and much less of a chore. It’s called Colorfix and it’s made in Switzerland. Go figure, they make magic over there. This stuff gives nails a great shine, and prevent chipping for an absurdly long time. So if you don’t have time to do your nails, it’s not a big deal. keep reading »

There’s one thing that everyone loves to do, and it seems like one of humanities greatest triumphs is the shit talk bitch fest. We adore a good retort, a burn, a diss. The art of the insult is one that infiltrates all art. We have one universal phrase that we love to insert into everything we do; whether it’s Britney’s If U Seek Amy, or Lily Allen’s lamentations over the lack thereof, we just seem to relish telling people to get fucked.

Before I get a load of comments asking about some classic kiss off songs, or some of the epic rap songs, I want to highlight these simply because they tend to be that much more satisfying when they come from people who started off as a different kind of artist, or slipped their songs onto the radio, despite the blatantly unfriendly message.

Here’s my list of the best fuck you songs of recent years: keep reading »

I had originally password protected this because I was afraid people would read this and take away only the fact that I had at one point considered dumping a shit load of bodies in a ravine in South Philly. Then set them on fire. CONTEXT IS SO IMPORTANT. I’m making it public for two three reasons: 1) it’s fucking funny; 2) it’s like reading one of my normal blog entries ON SPEED – I can’t remember exactly why, though it may have been beer and or sleep deprivation; 3) there’s a 75% chance it will earn me a concerned phone call from my mother.

Why is this a common theme for horror movie scenarios? I guess it would be unnerving if you woke up and it was just you and no one else anywhere ever, and you were alone for the rest of your life until you died, the end. I guess. I mean, it doesn’t really horrify me personally, but I can kind of understand why it might be eerie.

I personally have amazing dreams where the city is completely abandoned, and it’s just me running around, exploring alleys and houses and little shops that look like someone just stepped out. I might see something out of the corner of my eye or hear something just behind me, but in those dreams, it’s kind of exciting, not terrifying or horrible. Everything’s in sepia tone, too. In those dreams. keep reading »

The other night, I had a nightmare that I was an illustrious author, writing the great American novel. Every time a character laughed, instead of writing that, I just put “lol.” in the text. So it would just be like, “McDevitt grabbed the man by the lapels and shook him, but all the man did was lol.”

ALL THE MAN DID WAS LOL.

These are the nightmares I have.

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