Archive for October, 2009

Bitchin’

October 27th, 2009

There’s one thing that everyone loves to do, and it seems like one of humanities greatest triumphs is the shit talk bitch fest. We adore a good retort, a burn, a diss. The art of the insult is one that infiltrates all art. We have one universal phrase that we love to insert into everything we do; whether it’s Britney’s If U Seek Amy, or Lily Allen’s lamentations over the lack thereof, we just seem to relish telling people to get fucked.

Before I get a load of comments asking about some classic kiss off songs, or some of the epic rap songs, I want to highlight these simply because they tend to be that much more satisfying when they come from people who started off as a different kind of artist, or slipped their songs onto the radio, despite the blatantly unfriendly message.

Here’s my list of the best fuck you songs of recent years: keep reading »

We’re the last people left alive. OH NO. NOT THAT.

October 7th, 2009

I had originally password protected this because I was afraid people would read this and take away only the fact that I had at one point considered dumping a shit load of bodies in a ravine in South Philly. Then set them on fire. CONTEXT IS SO IMPORTANT. I’m making it public for two three reasons: 1) it’s fucking funny; 2) it’s like reading one of my normal blog entries ON SPEED – I can’t remember exactly why, though it may have been beer and or sleep deprivation; 3) there’s a 75% chance it will earn me a concerned phone call from my mother.

pandorumWhy is this a common theme for horror movie scenarios? I guess it would be unnerving if you woke up and it was just you and no one else anywhere ever, and you were alone for the rest of your life until you died, the end. I guess. I mean, it doesn’t really horrify me personally, but I can kind of understand why it might be eerie.

I personally have amazing dreams where the city is completely abandoned, and it’s just me running around, exploring alleys and houses and little shops that look like someone just stepped out. I might see something out of the corner of my eye or hear something just behind me, but in those dreams, it’s kind of exciting, not terrifying or horrible. Everything’s in sepia tone, too. In those dreams. keep reading »

Nightmares and Boogaloo

October 7th, 2009

The other night, I had a nightmare that I was an illustrious author, writing the great American novel. Every time a character laughed, instead of writing that, I just put “lol.” in the text. So it would just be like, “McDevitt grabbed the man by the lapels and shook him, but all the man did was lol.”

ALL THE MAN DID WAS LOL.

These are the nightmares I have.